God, I love being a college student!

Ok, so here is now things go in college on the weekends.
Friday: Go out and get ass drunk, wander home in the wee hours of the mornings and crash. Saturday: Wake up for breakfast at the dining center (in the basement of the dorms, so real clothes are forgone) and then crawl back to bed. Wake up for lunch in the dining center, crawl back to bed. Wake up for dinner in the dining center, crawl back to bed. Wake up, brush teeth, get ass drunk.
Sunday: Repeat Saturday, although the third round of drinking may be substituted for getting cheap Chinese food or Gumby's pizza.
The beauty of this system is that I never have to leave the dorms, I can even drink here if I want! Although, really, who does that? *cough*boyswhoplaytoomanyvideogames*cough*cough* I have gone days without being in direct sunlight! Brilliant! I LOVE college!
I would like to add a somber note that several of my friends suffered something that I can only assume is sophomore slump/party burnout early in the year, in which they had no desire to drink or go out. Something about fake everything, unsavory, lecherous boys and a general disgust with the process coupled with a serious aversion to public embarassment and vomiting. Go figure. They're better now, though, so all is well in my kingdom.