I hate him today

I hate him because I spent the past week anticipating seeing him taking trays at dinner tonight, and then I saw him and reality smacked me in the face again. It happens about once every 2 weeks and it hurts like a bitch.
Don't misunderstand; I am not disappointed with the reality of him, he is just as hot as I remember. It is the reality of him not actually caring about me one way or another. I like to pretend that we are friends, like maybe he would make a point of saying hello to me if I were to stop saying hello to him. Tonight, I think that he wouldn't. Fuck that stings.
I also hate him for allowing melted ice cream to get on his hands when he arranges the plates and not wiping it off immediately. That's just gross.