"I know I'm alone whether I'm with or without you/
But just being around you gives me another form of relief/"

Rilo Kiley, Portions for Foxes

*sigh* Here's hoping that he's at the party I go to tonight, regardless of whether or not I can manage to talk to him. At least I'll see Tim, he's always a good time.

Last year I was completely obsessed with both Tyler and this kid from my Ag class. I was convinced that if, for any reason, I got over one of them, I would probably kill the other with the sheer force of my thoughts. I guess I'm lucky that I haven't managed that yet.

Here's something ironic. The kid from my ag class, Jay, I saw and thought he was so hot. Called him gorgeous boy, and I kept thinking that I was seeing him in the dining hall, and so I called that boy gorgeous boy, too. Turns out they were two separate boys, with the original being much much hotter than the second. Tyler was the second. My infatuation with him was totally incidental; I thought that he was Jay. Of course, Jay was a 5th year senior failing a freshman course for the second time. A raging alcoholic who still lived in his frat house and was arrested for DUI on a Tuesday afternoon. Tyler really is perfect in every way, so it all worked out for the best.

"there are worse ways for a guy to spend his time/
than to sit and think of you/
i think i'd marry you/
just your smile leaves me satisfied/
though you're not mine.

so for the rest of my life/
i'm gonna search for someone just like you.

and we tend the garden all day long/
watching history unfold/
and i'd be enough/
and you'd be enough/
and we'd grow old.

so for the rest of my life/
i'm gonna search for someone just like you."

Rilo Kiley, Rest of My Life