Youthful admiration

So you know when you are younger and there is someone older than you (but not much older) who you think is just the coolest person ever...Like for me it was the youth group. When I was in Junior youth group, there was the senior youth group (they were in high school) and I thought that those girls were just the coolest, prettiest, smartest people ever and I wanted to be best friends with them. Although I didn't really think of it in those terms, at that time at least. Or on swim team my freshman year there was a junior who lived in my neighborhood and her big brother was the first boy I had a crush on and she swam so fast, was always nice to me, and got good grades, and I wanted to be just like her. I never had an older sibling and I wouldn't want to be presumptous enough to think that my younger sisters think of me that way...at least not Emma. Madeline actually probably does. But anyways, it occurs to me that I stopped thinking about other people in such adoring terms around my sophomore year in High School. Lately I've been seeing the good and bad attributes in everyone and just considering everyone my equal. Even my parents somewhat, which is weird. When you're younger you literally look up to them, you feel as though they are kind of better, in some ways. Certainly smarter, with better judgment. It never occured to me until recently that parents have character flaws and make mistakes. It should be noted that I still think my parents are ridiculously awesome and I want nothing more than to follow almost step for step in their path. They've had a kick ass life together. The point that I'm trying not to lose, however, is that there are these really cool hippie girls on the 3rd floor and I have been thinking how cool they are, and self confident, and thin, and they listen to good music and they wear fun hippie clothes and some of them have dreadlocks. They are friends with guys who I think are hot and they smoke weed and probably have interesting majors in art or something and care a lot about starving children in Somalia. I bet some of them are vegan. When I see Tyler actually dating a girl, I see him dating one of them. This is dorky, bear with me: About 2 weeks ago, for masochistic reasons, I was imagining how Tyler would meet his soulmate, and it was basically him bumping into a girl like those girls and she would have to be somewhat forward because he is shy and they would have love at first sight and get married. My roommate today said something about Goddamn hippie liberals. Treehugging something or other. We are different from each other. That's o.k.

And now for the Tyler tie-in, no that wasn't it up above, that was just part of how cool I think those girls are. The post below, about how some girl apparently gave Tyler her number and he never called, I badgered cool-Jake and found out who the girl is. She is one of the hippie girls. (!) She gave him her number when he was taking trays at dinner and said that the endeavor "failed miserably." Whoa. That information is almost impossible for me to process. I can't conceive of why he didn't call her, except that he is a shy loser with no interest in a relationship with a girl, ever. She is skinny. Pretty, I think. Obviously cool (well, I guess that is subjective) So I either have to revise my concept of Tyler, as he doesn't like the type of girl that I had thought he did, or I have to accept that he has no interest in dating. Damn.

I'll hopefully see him at dinner tonight! Yay! Oh wait, I'm getting over him. Shit, this is going to be hard...