through with boys

So I was totally stoked to post all about the new kid that I liked so much, because it was looking really brilliant, like he liked me back and like we were maybe going to date. I had been putting it off, because I only had one hand and typing was a pain in the ass, and it didn't look like things were going to change any time soon. And then last night. I don't actually remember anything, because I don't remember a damn thing when I've had anything to drink. He knows this. But I woke up sad and alone on my friend's couch, and have been told that he apparently told me he didn't want a relationship. We're having difficulty piecing things together, I've got a rather large hole in my memory, but I do remeber standing in front of the piano, his house, we're alone and he said...whatever. Not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure he was nice about it. Then I was taken to said-friend's house where I promptly passed out on the couch. Maybe not promptly, apparently I crawled around for a while, moaning about being sad and confused.
Man, I know this sounds pathetic as all hell, but I know that he liked me last week. He was drunk and I was sober and he was just adorable. He kept holding my hand, and was really sweet and making very funny jokes. When we walked, he would put his arm around me. At the end of the night he was so sincere and he was like, I'll talk to you tomorrow (which didn't end up happening) and he said multiple times that he had had a good time and that we needed to hang out. I thought I was totally in the clear! Every time I got in his car for...two weeks (this is at least five or six times I think) he was playing the CD that I burned for him. He called me stumpy because I had my hand wrapped up. When I called him on Wednesday he said he was just about to call me and had already rented a movie. Saturday he called in the afternoon, we made plans for 8, he called me a couple hours later and said he was just drinking alone and did I want to come over. So I did and we went to a bar-b-que, and when I got in the car it wasn't my CD anymore and I think everything was different. I think, but I'm not sure because I was drinking and...you know.
So I totally wish I could remember what he said. That's so unfair, we had just discussed earlier that night how I can't remember a damn thing even when I'm not that drunk. Unfair of him to say whatever when he knew I was wasted off my ass. I'm obviously not angry or anything, just sad and confused. Mostly sad. I really liked him, he was so gorgeous. Funny too, and had good taste in music. Never mind that he was old and not a student and worked shitty hours at Target. He has a real goofy dog voice, it has a southern accent. A sweet dog, too. Basset Hound.
I left my car at his place, he took me to the friend's house because I was obviously too drunk to drive. I had to go get it today and I just kind of snuck up and drove away. I've still got to get my backpack from...not sure where. I don't know how I'm going to do that, but it's going to suck.