November Shakedown

I'm compiling links for all of the posts in November, sort of as an index to put at the top. Helpful? Only if anyone ever actually uses it.
The order is from oldest to most recent.
I'll label the posts that are only about Tyler.
The Good Life
Casual Acquaintances
Tequila Kicks My Ass
God, I love being a college student!
Helpless Devotion TYLER CENTRIC
HIS Birthday TYLER CENTRIC
Chsagor
Vegetarianism
HE was at lunch
The Faint got on MTVU!
My roommate talks on the phone too much TYLER CENTRIC
Liberal Rant
I didn't ask him TYLER CENTRIC
It's not stalking if you love him TYLER CENTRIC
Stall logistics
Walking in the rain
I am a 15 year old boy
Jumping in the pool TYLER CENTRIC
Agricultural College
Playlist TYLER CENTRIC
I love boys
Dude Commandments
Diabetics aren't allowed to puke
Phone is back, care is back
I'm a bitch
Rating Boys
Rational Rachael TYLER CENTRIC
Sex
Eye for an eye
My computer died, my friends brought me a mouse
Tyler was especially hot today TYLER CENTRIC
Incubus concert
Last night TYLER CENTRIC
No title TYLER CENTRIC
Boy Sleepovers
Leaf Blowing
Best things ever
Conversations with Tyler TYLER CENTRIC
I got a speeding ticket
Who decided Screech was a nerd?
Thanksgiving, Grandparents, turkey
I have found audio posting
On the drive back to school
I hate him today TYLER CENTRIC
New information regarding Tyler TYLER CENTRIC

EDIT: hmm, so I just published this and it is a little sobering to see in a list of all my posts in a month, just how many were devoted to that boy.

I hate him today

I hate him because I spent the past week anticipating seeing him taking trays at dinner tonight, and then I saw him and reality smacked me in the face again. It happens about once every 2 weeks and it hurts like a bitch.
Don't misunderstand; I am not disappointed with the reality of him, he is just as hot as I remember. It is the reality of him not actually caring about me one way or another. I like to pretend that we are friends, like maybe he would make a point of saying hello to me if I were to stop saying hello to him. Tonight, I think that he wouldn't. Fuck that stings.
I also hate him for allowing melted ice cream to get on his hands when he arranges the plates and not wiping it off immediately. That's just gross.

On the drive back to school

Thanksgiving, grandparents, turkey...

So my grandparents are these really really cool old people who travel all the time and have all of these weird eccentricities. Like, my grandpa used to be an English teacher and so he corrects everything he reads. I go to their house and I'm trying to read the paper and there are markings everywhere! When he finds something really heinous he'll cut it out and tape it on the wall. There are newspaper clippings everywhere, and most of them are unintelligible because the grammar and/or spelling is so wrong. Also all of their subscriptions go to "Little Cornwall on the Prairie." Instead of their names. He has stationary that refers to him as the governor of Little Cornwall on the Prairie. They live in South Dakota, btw, so we drive the 4 hours every holiday to go see them and the rest of the family. Also he will write down grammatical errors that newscasters make on television and he keeps a little journal, with dates and who it was that made the mistake. They also get an alarming amount of mail from Cornwall...like, in Ireland or something. Bizarre newsletters and such. They always have little trinkets for me and my sisters, too, because they are always traveling. They just got back from Africa, so we now have cow-bone bracelets. I'm wearing mine now. They have a huge world map above their fireplace that has tons and tons of pins in it, marking everywhere they've been. It's really cool.
This year I learned how to play Pinochle, a sacred game in South Dakota that my parents and grandparents stay up late playing every night. I was pretty much indifferent to it, but my dad said that Tyler, as a German kid growing up on a farm in the Midwest, would undoubtedly play it. So I learned. It's kind of a fun game. My family is really manipulative with the Tyler thing. They'll say things like, "Tyler likes girls who can cook a turkey," or, "Tyler probably always helps out with his younger cousins," etc. I don't know if that is true or not, but I'd rather be safe than sorry...
Uh, the turkey was really really good, by the way. I took a brief break from the vegetarian thing so I could enjoy it, and enjoy it I did! And then I enjoyed digestive issues for the rest of the night; apparently switching back to meat after a longish hiatus can wreak a little havoc on the old intestines. Go figure.
My little sister, Emma, continues to delight me, shouting insults and obscenities every time we are in the same room. I'm pretty sure it is a fun game for her. Her favorite is, "You're dumb, 'D' 'U' 'M'!" Also, "I hate you, you're stupid, you're ugly, Tyler hates you, your face looks like a sick penis, your mom is an idiot." My friends all wonder why I talk so loud, especially when I'm drunk, and I'm pretty sure it is because at home every conversation is carried on in at least a shouting level of loudness. It just seems normal. Emma just walked by and said, "You're dumb, D U M D U M D U M D U M D U M..." until she was out of ear range. Funny girl. In the car yesterday (on the way home from grandma's) she had to pee and there weren't any rest stops for a while and so we were all shouting and pressing her stomach and then she licked her hand and smacked me in the face and it was really gross and then we all laughed. And she peed her pants a little. I have another little sister, Madeline. She's quiet and a really big loser who never washes her hair and just spends all of her time with the dog, and reading. Her and I are actually about the same person, our parents can barely tell our little-kid pictures apart and everything she does, I did when I was 11. I'm not even living in the same state anymore, and with Emma as a role model you'd think she'd be more outgoing or something, but she's not. And so she drives me crazy because I know that everything I hate about myself is in her, and all of my insecurities and embarrassing things I used to do, she is now doing. And she never has anything interesting or fun to tell me because I already know everything she knows; she is learning it on an 8 year delay after me. She went to the library and picked out the exact books I read in 6th grade, my name was still on the card! Redwall books, a good series.

Who decided Screech was a nerd?

I am watching Saved by the Bell right now and Screech has on a Grateful Dead t-shirt under his suspenders. That is not nerdy, that is freaking awesome!
In other news, my dad is helping me fix my POS laptop, we're moving all my music to my mp3 player. I just transferred 357 songs to it, and I haven't even found all the music on my laptop yet. I think I need to find at least 5 more CDs. I'm so excited. I love music! Apparently my mp3 player has 30 GB of space available; my computer has 6. Unbelievable.
Saved by the bell is the funniest show ever. It is so goofy and scripted and the acting is brilliant. As is the writing. And let's be honest...Zach is a fox. Hard core. I'd give him an 8.2, that is a little above Gorgeous! Slater is probably a 6.5, definitely cute, half way to hot.

I got a speeding ticket

Yeah, so I got a speeding ticket on my way home for Thanksgiving today, I guess I was going 76 in a 55. Which seems to confirm my suspicion that my speedometer tells me a speed 5 mph faster than I'm actually going, because I had thought I was going around 80.
So I got a ticket, and it is $$160!! What the hell? That's an ass lot of money. Maybe I'll go the court date and try and get out of it. Not that I'm not guilty; I am. I was definitely speeding, I just definitely don't want to pay that much money. No one will get Christmas presents if I have to shell out $160 for something so stupid!
Another idea I have is to call the station and tell whoever answers that I have to reschedule an appt with the police officer who wrote the ticket and find out his schedule and then try and move my court time to when he will be busy and if he doesn't show up, I don't have to pay it! Or, maybe I'll just pay it.

conversations with Tyler

He was taking trays at dinner and Roommate insisted on talking to him past my usual blundering "Hey, how are you? You gonna be in class tomorrow? Um, ok, yeah...I'll see you later Tyler!" and it was actually a decent conversation. He's very good at casual social interactions.
We discussed his shoes that are getting pretty beat up; he says they're old and he needs new ones. I remember when he got these shoes, they aren't even a year old yet. He's tough on footwear. Really broad feet, there are holes on the pinkie toe side of both shoes.
She asked if he remembered seeing us at the party; of course he didn't. I've watched him have good 20 minute conversations with people at parties and the next day when they talk to him he will not remember meeting them. He has an unbelievable capacity to forget goings-on when he is drunk. I think that I should take advantage of this and handcuff myself to him at the next party we are at together, only releasing him at the end of the night. He won't remember it anyways...
She also mentioned that she stumbled upon him peeing outside, which I think surprised him a little. She tends to be a little more forward than I ever expect. He recovered nicely, joking about how we should know that it was a kind of cold outside. He said he didn't want to sell himself short. Cute. I bet he's hung like an ox. If that's a good thing.

Wow, I just looked over at my fish tank and my otocinclus is massive! Also I think my last snail is dead. Damn. My sunset ludwiga is photosynthesizing like a mad thing, there is a stream of bubbles closer than 1/2 cm apart coming out of one of the leaves and floating to the surface.

I got a %68 on the chem test I didn't study for. I'm a slack-dog. If there is any kind of a curve I'll get a C, but it doesn't really matter any more since I'm already enrolled to take it again next semester. I'm hoping that I'll do really well. The trend so far has been that any class I have with Tyler, I do well in because...I'm not sure why. I retain information better when it relates to him. Maybe we'll study together. Maybe we'll be study-buddies who have sex.

Best things ever

This is a list of my absolute favorite things in the world. That's right, an ascending list of what I love more than anything, ever. Don't bother skipping to number 1, if you've read any of my posts before this one you should already know what it is.

8. Snow Days. When you wake up at around 9:00 AM and it is bright white outside and so light in your room and you're still all warm from sleeping and you find out that it is a snow day and you don't have to go to class; probably one of the best feelings in the world.

7. Television series in which the characters become your family. IE Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the best show ever.

6. Clam Chowder, Otis Spunkmeyer cookies, Chinese food and Burger King's bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwich are all tied.

5. A really good book. Should have caused me to both laugh and cry out loud, also provoke much thought and reassesment of personal philosophy. The kind of book that you slow down as you get to the end because you really don't want it to be over.

4. When you are with people that you are comfortable enough with that you can fart in front of them and not have to make stupid jokes about it.

3. Music. The part of a totally sweet song that you're blasting really loud (or live) where the refrain/favorite part/riff kicks in and it's just absolute bliss. A good example is A Perfect Circle's Halo when the second part starts. Or that kick ass chord in Radiohead's Creep and everything just sets off.

2. Pets.

1. Tyler.

Leaf blowing

So today I'm walking back from class and I see this big tractor/lawn mower thing and it is pushing the leaves off of the sidewalk?! What? At first I thought it was probably really a lawnmower that just got a little off track and would soon be corrected, but I followed it for a good long ways and it was seriously pushing leaves off the sidewalk. Now, maybe it is just me, but I had really thought that a good 75% of the point of autumn was to step on leaves as you walk around outside. Hell, I've lately been just walking around outside with my notebooks and shit, pretending like I'm on my way to or from the library, but really I'm just tromping the hell out of every leaf I can find. With my music going, and I may or may not be singing along a little bit, it's good times. And then I see some asshole with some stupid tractor pushing leaves off the sidewalk! I wonder how Tyler feels about this travesty.
What's totally sweet is when you're drunk off your ass and you're with your friends and it's night time and you're walking to a party and everyone is just running all the hell over the place, trampling leaves. Did that a little last night. I think they joined me in the fun... A few weeks ago I found this huge ass pile of leaves in the street and I just launched into it, rolling all over the place. I lost a shoe and ended up being one-shoed for the rest of the night. Also covered in leaves, in my hair and pockets. I woke up the next morning with one nasty dirty foot and leaves in my hair and I was like, "College fucking rocks"
I need some new slip-on shoes though, because I don't like flip flops and putting on shoes that have to be tied when all I'm doing is going downstairs for breakfast is dumb.

Boy Sleepovers

It occurs to me that I have had a sleepover with a boy both Friday and Saturday nights for the past two weeks. No really, here's the rundown:
Last Friday- Kirby- slept in Holly's bed, got sick
Last Saturday- Weasel- slept together, much making out and snuggling
This Friday- Mik- slept on the couch, I was on an air mattress. He did wake up pants-less, but that was incidental
Last Night- Clayton- slept in my loft, entirely platonic, although I thought he was a little hot.

So that makes me either really cool, or something else that is less cool.

In other news, I've almost entirely forgone all studying for my Chemistry test tomorrow. I have good intentions, still, but we are getting down to the wire. For those of you who are just tuning in, I am retarded in Chemistry and will be retaking it again next semester because I am such a freaking failure. My computer is still broken so I'm at the library and I just looked over at the computer next to me and a really hot guy is on it. Go figure. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Lol.

Ha, also last night I ran into the damn-pretty-girl from my philosophy class and was reassured in my conviction that she has a really cute boyfriend. I also found out her name and read her posts on the philosophy webpage. They aren't really all that noteworthy, she uses much shorter sentences than I do. If I didn't proof-read I would probably end up with one really long run on sentence/paragraph. She also does not spell check. Her ideas are more or less sound, but not exceptionally well thought out in my opinion. I am biased.

Friday night I felt uncomfortable at something and bit my hand (bad habit, sometimes it gets really bad) and it still freaking hurts. I think I broke a nerve or something. It's bruised. I'm a loser. Who bites their hand when they feel nervous? Shit.

"I know I'm alone whether I'm with or without you/
But just being around you gives me another form of relief/"

Rilo Kiley, Portions for Foxes

*sigh* Here's hoping that he's at the party I go to tonight, regardless of whether or not I can manage to talk to him. At least I'll see Tim, he's always a good time.

Last year I was completely obsessed with both Tyler and this kid from my Ag class. I was convinced that if, for any reason, I got over one of them, I would probably kill the other with the sheer force of my thoughts. I guess I'm lucky that I haven't managed that yet.

Here's something ironic. The kid from my ag class, Jay, I saw and thought he was so hot. Called him gorgeous boy, and I kept thinking that I was seeing him in the dining hall, and so I called that boy gorgeous boy, too. Turns out they were two separate boys, with the original being much much hotter than the second. Tyler was the second. My infatuation with him was totally incidental; I thought that he was Jay. Of course, Jay was a 5th year senior failing a freshman course for the second time. A raging alcoholic who still lived in his frat house and was arrested for DUI on a Tuesday afternoon. Tyler really is perfect in every way, so it all worked out for the best.

"there are worse ways for a guy to spend his time/
than to sit and think of you/
i think i'd marry you/
just your smile leaves me satisfied/
though you're not mine.

so for the rest of my life/
i'm gonna search for someone just like you.

and we tend the garden all day long/
watching history unfold/
and i'd be enough/
and you'd be enough/
and we'd grow old.

so for the rest of my life/
i'm gonna search for someone just like you."

Rilo Kiley, Rest of My Life

Last Night

Last night I was at a party that Tyler was at, but it went over about as expected. I talked to him several times, would get afraid or embarrassed and run away (or his 5 second attention span would go) and then would be like "Where's Tyler?" and hunt him down. A few highlights:
*He peed outside and I was there.
*He was wearing a new shirt; he seems to have a separate wardrobe for parties, which consists of real shirts, with collars and shit. Not as cute as his regular t-shirts. Maybe their not even his, because he never wears them to class.
*He said that he would like to have butt sex with Brandon Boyd, also Jim Morrison and some others. I wasn't keeping up real well, I was pretty drunk. My meaner friends insist that he must be gay. He has actually never said a single straight thing, or shown any sexual appreciation for a hot girl, as far as I know. Once James saw a girl that Tyler had previously indicated that he liked her hair (it was cool hair, dark brown but red at the tips) leaning forward so her thong was showing. He got all excited, insisted Tyler come look, Tyler seemed to have no idea what they were looking at, he actually said, "What, is there a glove somewhere?" Maybe he was missing a glove. Honestly though, there is no way he could be gay, he's just too goofy. And hot.
*I hugged him several times, also held onto him as he weaved through a crowd. I think he might have the sexiest body I've ever seen. Hands down. And I just got back from a concert in which I saw Brandon Boyd shirtless, so it's not like there's no competition.
*I told at least six more associates of Tyler that I love him. Good job with keeping that on the DL, Rachael.
*At a different party I found a friend of Tyler's who went to school with him, and he invited me to a party tonight, so I'm going to go. It sounds like it might be a Cheney party. Also, I'm not sure but I think that I found this kid totally legitimately. Like, sometimes I'll just introduce myself and ask, "Do you know Tyler K*****?" but somehow I met this kid and he said he was from Cheney and then we discussed it. Totally not stalkerish on my part.

EDIT: It occurs to me that having his full name isn't all that good of an idea, so I edited it.

Incubus concert

Was INCREDIBLE! It was crazy fun, I loved it so much. Jen and I ended up behind this big tall guy who just seemed to slide forward on his own. By the end of every song we were about 5 ft closer than we had started, so it didn't take long before we were way the hell up there. It was awesome. Brandon finally took his shirt off, which I had thought was a requirement for hot lead singers, but I was beginning to be a little concerned by 10:00 pm when it hadn't happened yet. Once Megalomaniac started everyone just went crazy, people were falling from the sky (crowd surfers, I never see them until they kick me in the face) and rushing and pushing and we couldn't stand and there was some kid next to me with a split lip and a black eye. And during the refrain there was this perfect rock aesthetic, with Brandon standing up on the speakers, shirt off, just wailing into the mic with his head tossed back and we were so close. I managed to not even dwell too much on Tyler's absence. We brought his friend (and our friend) Kyle, who was blast, the kid has some truly funny drunk stories. Involving nudity, as all really good drunk stories do. During "I wish you were here" I kept getting caught in the "I wish he was here" thought cycle, but other than that I was pretty distracted by Brandon. Humorous anecdote: When Tyler was saying how much he wished he could go (sure, whatever) he said that Brandon Boyd was beautiful, proving again that we are perfectly compatible in every way and even have the same taste in boys.
The road trip was half the fun, Kyle decided to do a little drinking and ended up making us pull over twice so he could pee on the side of the road because he couldn't hold it any longer. The first time Jen wouldn't pull over and he was saying he was going to go out the door and I really thought the kid was going to burst. It was damn funny. Someone really having to piss makes road trips better.
Also having really hot boys named Tyler in the car makes road trips pretty sweet. But I'm over it. Kyle's having a 5 kegger tonight and I expect that Tyler will be there, so hopefully I can see him and maybe even talk to him. Potential problem: Kyle/weasel might be there, see post on "I'm a bitch" below to find out why that would be bad.

Tyler was especially hot today

Today in Philosophy Tyler came in wearing his hoodie, which is funny in and of itself because he's never worn a hoodie before, it is always that terrible plaid jacket (like early 90's homeless man) or gigantic hunter's coat. But the real point is that when he pulled the sweater off, his shirt lifted a little and I saw his boxers! Roommate and I have had discussions before as to whether he wears boxers or briefs. I was aghast when she asked to discover that I didn't already know such a clearly important piece of trivia. But now we all know, its boxers. Not exceptionally cute boxers, but it really doesn't matter.
Also today, he was in a left handed desk and had to sit differently than usual, and at one point he stretched or something, and I seriously looked around at everyone, like, did no one else just see that? It was incredible. I just wanted to leap out of my chair and start shouting, "Is everyone in this room BLIND?! This boy is Hot!!" and then stand him up, pull his shirt off and start ranting, "Just look at these hips! He's got a waist like a 12 year old girl! Do you honestly not see these shoulders? Hands?! Loot at his elbows for Christ's sake!" And I'd point everything out as I said it, waving his arms around like a mannequin.
And then he would love me. Or get a restraining order, you know, whichever.

My computer died, my friends brought me a mouse

So I have a ten year old laptop that is the most hard-core Piece Of Shit ever. It has a docking station for Pete's sake! Anyways, I pirate a lot of music and I've filled my computer with it (I'm not sure how much, a lot.) It doesn't even have a high speed USB port so I can't get it onto my mp3 player, and it doesn't have a burner so I can't put the music onto CDs. A few weeks ago it started telling me I was low on space and I needed to delete something. I've deleted nearly every program on the damn thing, including my Microsoft office (which is great when I have to write a paper, I have to write it in Notepad like a tool) and it still says it doesn't have enough memory to do anything. So I stopped worrying about it, and when it told me I was below 200 mb I ignored it. And last night, after downloading Dangermouse's Grey album along with a mashed Queen album and Yoshimi battles the hip hop robots it flashed me a big red X saying that it was below 50 mb and was going on strike until I freed up some memory. And it apparently wasn't kidding, I can't even go to weather.com and find out if it's cold out. So I'm at the library, which actually isn't too bad because between 1:30 and 3:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays Tyler has nothing to do and generally doesn't want to leave campus and will frequently come here. He's not here right now, but I've got my eyes peeled. Oh, and I'm studying for my genetics test on Friday...right.

My friend found a mouse outside this morning and was able to just pick it up (bad sign) and he brought it to me. It's a little albino boy, I'm guessing around 6 weeks old. Some loser in the elevator asked me how I knew how old it was. If there is anyone in the entire fucking Derby dormitory complex who knows how to accurately age a young mouse, it is *me*, you tool! I didn't say that. But I should have. I put up a bunch of signs, you know, found: young mouse, I'm guessing that it was a feeder and I'm probably going to let it go as a feeder if we don't find a real home for it. There is nothing I would love more than to have pet mice again, but not a male, not in a dorm room. And if my roommate is going to let me have mice, I'm sure as hell not going to waste it on one solitary albino male feeder! I'll get a pair or trio of pretty females.
Everyone was so excited when I got back from class, they didn't even ask me how Tyler was, they made me close my eyes and hauled me all over the place and then plopped a little mouse into my hands. I was, naturally, delighted.

Eye for an eye

So today in the school paper someone, a columnist who I had thought was a good democrat, went off on why the Peterson guy should get the death penalty. Let's just say I am wildly against the death penalty. It is more expensive than life in death, it doesn't appear to deter crime, it is blatantly racist and prejudiced against the poor, it is wrong and it is permanent. Think about that. What if they make a mistake? People have been pulled off death row before, after evidence is found or reviewed. People have been proven innocent too late. I don't think that the government has the right to decide who lives and who dies. I actually think it is a really bad idea to give some judicial system the power over life and death.
But regardless, the thing that really got my goat was this columnist said that she believes in an eye for an eye. This neat little snippet out of the old testament is used so often to justify the death penalty that it makes me want to puke. What most of the parrots don't realize is that in the society where this principle was applied, they never actually took eyes in exchange for eyes, or killed people who killed others. It simply means that the punishment has to fit the crime. If you stole someone's goat, that person wouldn't get your goat in return, they would get a predecided amount of gold equaling the value of a goat. If someone poked your eye out, you did not get to poke their eye out; they would give you an amount of gold apparently equal to an eye. And so it is blatantly stupid to try and use this quote in support of the death penalty, as it was
never involved with the death penalty, merely ensuring that punishments fit crimes.

Also, think about in this case, if Scott Peterson is innocent. Not only was his wife and child killed, and he was blamed for it, but he was killed for it? That would suck ass.

Rating boys

Often when my roommate and I are in the Derb, we will see a fox walk by, but disagree on just how hot the boy is. This is a time when I might say to her, "What do you rate him?" I have come up with a simple 1-10 scale, with 5 being average. It works on a bell curve, so the vast majority of guys are going to be right around 5. We always use at least 1 decimal point, sometimes 2. The basic rule of thumb is that 5 is average, 6 is cute, 7 is hot, 8 is gorgeous, 9 is practically perfect and 10 is impossible.
Some people insist on using the scale wrong, such as, "Holy shit, there's an 11!" No. There are no 11s, if there were, they would be a 10 and shift the scale accordingly. It is a 1-10 scale. There are really no 10s either. I give Tyler a 9.8. We have to be objective, here.
My roommate also insists on using it wrong when she labels blue eyed, short hair with products, football player types as 8s and 9s. These boys are not 8s and 9s. They are 5s, unless I say otherwise.
We almost never go below 5, it is rude. We both know when we see an ugly guy, we don't ever point him out. The only time we talk about a guy below 5 is if one of us thinks he's hot, and the other has to point out that he is, in fact, a 3.4. Usually it is her mistake, not mine.
Kevin Bacon is a 0, which I will not discuss further because it requires me to think of him, and he is a hideous monster. I hate him as a person because he is so ugly.
The scale is for physical appearances only, and you may not take into account personality, sense of humor, etc. Only appearance.

I'm a bitch

Met a kid last night, made out with him. Told him he could come spend the night; my roommate's gone. I actually don't know how I managed any of this; I didn't find him at all attractive or cool, and I am, as a rule, entirely confused about the entire hooking up process. Let's be clear: I've made out with two guys, ever, and that's all we did. One was my ex-boyfriend who was very patient with teaching me how to kiss. We went out for three months and I was a senior in highschool and he was 20, and all we did was kiss. Maybe there is something wrong with me. The other was some drunk kid who was riding in the back of a moving truck with me and said, "Have you ever made out in the back of a moving truck?" Which is probably the perfect way to proposition someone. So I'm pretty much a confused, prudish, pathetic girl when it comes to this stuff. I have no idea how to go about flirting with a guy. But regardless, somehow this kid and I ended up at Bob's diner with several friends. We shared some breakfast, I think it was good? Anyways, about 1/2 way through dinner one of His friends (weasel) shows up so I say I'm going to the bathroom and go talk to him, deciding that I want no part of this kid I'm supposed to hook up with. So I talk to weasel, and I'm like, "Help, this kid thinks he's coming home with me and all I want is Tyler and I need to not be with this kid. I'm afraid!" So weasel gets us out of there and I end up spending the night at his house. Bringing my makeout total up to three. But that is still it, because I love Tyler, not anyone else and I don't want anyone else, ever! No one reads this anyways.
But the point here is that apparently weasel was pretty enamored of me, depsite the fact that as we're making out I keep insisting that he is stupid for even tolerating me because I'm infatuated with his friend. The other point is that the hook-up kid was left at Bob's diner to foot the bill for all of us, drunk, and with no way to get home. Saferide ends at 2 or 3 in the morning and it was definitely 4. And our waitress was this sweet girl who I puked in the back of her brand new leather interior SUV last year, and she had to clean it up and probably didn't get a tip last night. So I'm a bitch.

Phone is back, car is back

So that's good. There's a really funny message on my phone, from me. I'm shouting "Rachael, you're so fucking cool! Your boy is really hot and I think he likes you. Good luck finding your phone, I think it's in Kyle's car."
It was in Kyle's car, apparently.
I haven't studied at all for my upcoming tests. I've also eaten so much today, and I'm planning on going to dinner, too. That and my reliable, let's-get-wasted friend got so wasted last night that she doesn't want to go out tonight! That's a first. She was totally gone, though. Pretty sure she threw up, and then kept going. We kept trying to stop her, you know, I think you've had enough, and she kept chugging. "I'll tell you when I've had enough, mother fucker!" Lol, I used to say that a lot last year.

Diabetics aren't allowed to puke

I'm not diabetic, btw, but my 7 ft tall friend came out with us last night and we got him pretty liquored up. Ok, so the DD said he'd had enough and to stop refilling his cup, but I decided to ignore her. Damn. She's always right, I should have listened. Anyways, 7 ft tall kid is basically floored by the time we head home, and my roommate is home for the weekend so we decided he would stay in my room, which was probably a good idea since he ended up puking, like, 3 gallons. He can hold a lot, as it turns out. Um, but he didn't die from low blood sugar or whatever because he hadn't had an insulin shot in almost 12 hours. That's what he said at least, and I was a little too drunk to argue. But for all you diabetic drinkers out there, drinking is fine as long as you don't puke. Throwing up apparently induces comas.
In other news, I've misplaced both my phone and my car. And my chapstick and all my money, but I think those are both in the car. I've said before that Manhattan is so small that everything is across the street; that's not entirely true. My car is about as far away as it can get, and I can't call anyone to take me to pick it up because my phone is gone, my roommate is gone, and I can't drive to their house to talk to them. Lol. The phone I think is in the back seat of some kid's car. I met him last night, seemed like a good kid. No idea where he lives, or what his number is. I don't know how I'm going to get my phone back...
And now the BEST NEWS EVER!!! Tyler thought the concert was this Thursday, that just passed. But it's not, it's next Thursday, so he can probably go with us!! Holy shit! I love him so much I could pee my pants, and I'm maybe going to go on a road trip with him to Wichita! Hell Yes!

Dude Commandments

Handed down from the Mount Guy for all the chicks to learn, love and live (please note...all are number 1).
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If you ask a question we don't want to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics such as baseball, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


All I can say is that I think I love whoever wrote this.

Agriculture College

Going to an agriculture college when I am from Omaha is something of a culture shock. I'm sure college as a whole is a shock for many people, but I think it is compounded by my coming from Omaha (not exactly a huge city, but big) and going to this college, in a city where over half the population is students.
What I love about small town/ag college:

• There are guys who really wear tight, brand new, ironed blue jeans that come up to their waist, with tucked in plaid shirts and big belt buckles and cowboy hats. And boots. And they are serious.
• Everyone here is my age, there are no old people, there are no young people. We're all the same!
• Laid back atmosphere. There is no pressure to look good, or even presentable when going to class. Most of the girls don't even dress up for parties, except for the sorority girls. The guys are, for the most part, not pretty guys.
• Aggieville. I'm not old enough to officially partake in the bars, but it is a pretty kick ass environment down there. (Down there is across the street from campus.)
• Everything is across the street from campus. If you drive 20 minutes, you're not in Manhattan anymore. In Omaha, you drive for 20 minutes and aren't even a third of the way through the city. I have friends in West O, and they're on like, street 245. That's 212 blocks from my house.
• Saferide. If you're too wasted to walk the 4 blocks back to your house/dorms after a night of partying hard Andrew W.K. style, you can call safe ride. You can even request your favorite driver, and it's free.
• There are classes that I find wildly interesting: Principles of livestock breeding. Horse Training. I'm taking a class next semester called lambing. I'll be measuring blood pressure, weight gain, etc. for pregnant ewes and then when they have the babies I can stay in the barn overnight!! Is there any more kick ass class? Maybe foaling, but that one fills up pretty quick.

What I hate about ag college/small town:

• Everyone is the same. There are no black people (well, maybe a couple. They all sit together in the Derb), there are no Asian people and there sure as hell aren't any Hispanic people. The uniformity is upsetting after coming from a high school where no more than half the class was white.
• Red-neck conservative right wing hicks. There are tons of them.
• Red-neck conservative right wing army guys. Even worse because my roomate loves them all. A guy in a military uniform is automatically placed at a 7 or higher on the scale, according to her.
• Red-neck conservative right wing ag boys. My classes are full of them, and although their jeans are funny, really, who wears pants around their waist? Them and the ag girls. And their mom jeans.
• Lacking in music scene. We've got a few local bands, and sometimes someone will come through who is worth seeing, but as a rule good bands go to Lawrence (University of Kansas). For some reason Bob Dylan was here last month, though. That was sweet.
• Places close. No, I'm serious. If I need fish food at 10:00 pm, I'm S.O.L. Well, ok, a superwalmart just opened up down the street (remember, everything is down the street) and they're open 24/7. But other places have really short hours, and Walmart is the root of all evil.
• Even though it's college, you apparently can't just assume that everyone is as liberal as you, because it's also Kansas. The school paper actually prints stuff like, "Bush won, so eat it you damn hippie liberals!"

And there you have it. College rocks. College sucks. At least we've got some foxy males, even if they do wear high pants.

Jumping in the pool

SHIT! FUCK! COCK! ASS! Holy fucking shit I'm pretty sure I've just ruined my life. It's not so much that I'm juming in the pool, as I fell in. Not even fell; when racing around it like a special olympics sprinter on cocaine I slipped and mangled myself falling into the pool, grabbing desperately at everyone on the way down. Ok, so my friend J came over and was telling me that one of His friends (whom I've harassed in the past, about Him) told Him last night that I like Him. He just shrugged and laughed a little, apparently. Not surprising, since I'm sure he's been told about three dozen times now that there is some girl who really really likes him. Shit! So I call His Friend and am trying to be cool, and you know, not insane, and I say that I need his help with Him. I tell him about the concert and how he should get Him to go with friend J and I, and we should all four go together. (sorry about not using names, I'm never sure if it is appropriate.) This is hopefully aided by the fact that His Friend likes friend J. I don't know. Whatever. So I say I can get more free tickets from the radio station (lie lie lie, these are coming out of my pocket like the desperate sicko that I am) and His Friend says he'll call Him. I'm like, "wait are you serious, what? Hold on, you're calling Him?! Now?!" And His Friend is like, yeah, I'll call you back. So I'm sitting here, terrified, wanting to call every person I've ever met, and I can't because I'm waiting for His Friend to call me back. It's been a good 15 minutes now, what the fuck is taking so long?! Oh God, he is saying no. He's balking. I'm going to see him in class tomorrow! What the hell am I supposed to SAY?!? That's it. My life is over.

For those of you just tuning in, yes, I am a prepubescent boy crazy girl melodramatizing my girly crush into something life altering. If only you could hear me, I would not disappoint. I have 12 year old girl inflection down to a T.

I absolve myself of him. Wash my hands. I don't care if I ever see him again. I hope that it is awkward. The more socially painful the better in fact. Bring it on, I've probably had worse. I wore head gear in Junior High for Christ's sake.

Update: So it's been about an hour, apparently His Friend can't get ahold of Him. I told him to call me the moment he has an answer, at any time of the night. He said he wouldn't leave me hanging. Sweet boy. I'm sure he thinks I'm criminally insane. God I hope He says yes. That would be brilliant. A three hour road trip with Him. And then a sweet ass concert, and another three hour road trip back home. Kick ass. I hope he says yes. Worth the cost of three tickets; oil change; gas to Wichita. I'll get a job. Sell plasma! That's it!

Update: It's 6:pm the next day. His Friend called me and said that He is busy and can't make it. However, the reception on my phone wasn't all that good and I'm feeling some concern that they think the concert is tonight, which of course it isn't; it's next week. We'll hopefully be hanging out this weekend with His Friend, at which point we can hopefully resolve the situation. Class today was brilliant; started off maybe a little awkward (probably just to me, since he's known for a long time now) but we quickly got into the swing of casual friends and ignoring the fact that I love him. He should be taking trays tomorrow at dinner, so that should be our next meeting. Perfect situation: He asks how the concert was (under the mistaken impression that it is tonight), I say that it isn't until next week and he says in that case he would love to go. Wost case scenario: He refuses to speak to me, or spits in my face. That's probably pretty unlikely.

I am a 15 year old boy

That's right. Periods scare the hell out of me. I am extremely uncomfortable with the entire idea of Menstration. I myself have not had one in close to two years; as soon as I started birth control (for debilitating cramps, ironically enough) I was like "I can opt out of this?!" and haven't looked back since. The advantage that most 15 year old boys have that I don't is that generally strangers don't approach them in the bathroom, asking if they have Midol. And I would bet that when hanging out with their buddies, they never talk about cramps and white pants and bloating. I envy them. It was worst for me when I was on swim team, almost every day someone was trying to bum tampons. When you live in dorms all the girls just assume that everyone wants to know when they are PMSing or whatever. And yet I don't know of any tactful way to tell people, "What the fuck is the matter with you? Periods are not conversation fodder and I don't want to discuss any aspect of them with anyone, ever!" My 11 year old little sister started hers last year. She was 10 years old. I have no idea how old I was because I didn't tell a soul. I just took care of it and never mentioned it, the way every female should. My parents finally confronted me when I was about 16 and traumatized the shit out of me with "the talk."
Anecdote:
My other little sister once asked me to take her to the store so she could pick some stuff up. Whatever, so I drive her there and as we're getting out of the car I ask what she needs to get.
Chapstick, YM magazine and some pads. WHAT?! I get back in the car. She's banging on the window, you know, "What's the matter with you, come on blah blah" and so I roll down the window and shout "I'm not going in there with you to get," whisper, "pads!" Yes, this is me, the sophomore in College with my 14 year old little sister. I don't care. Periods are scarey. Period.

Walking in the rain

So I'm walking back from class and it's pouring raing and freezing cold and I've got my headphones in, listening to Summertime by Sublime. And then I realize: it's like the opposite of summertime. And the previous song had been Summertime by Janis Joplin! My mp3 player has a cruel sense of humor, picking those songs when I'm cold. Ha. I should keep track of it and see if it plays other funny jokes on me. Hold the phone! Yesterday in the library, HE asked me what I was listening to and it was Janis Joplin, take another piece of my heart. My mp3 player kicks ass!
It actually really does, it might be my most prized possesion besides Butch (stuffed sleeping comanion), my fish tank and my totally sweet pigeon calandar. Allow me to relate the tale of my getting an mp3 player. I really really wanted one; I'm really really poor. I went home for the summer, got a job, and got a Creative labs zen xtra, 30 GB. I bounced the check, but it was worth it because I listened to it for at least 6-10 hours each day all summer. I haven't been able to use it as much at school, not sure why, but lately I've remembered my totally cool toy and been listening to it on the way to class and stuff. Good times. I should post my playlists.

Stall logistics

So I live in dorms, so the bathroom is down the hallway and there are four stalls and four sinks(and then a division and four showers and four more sinks, but that's neither here nor there.) I always use the same stall: the one furthest from the door. Now, I always used this same stall on the 3rd floor last year, and so it seemed natural that I would use it this year, on the 7th floor. But the last stall on the 7th floor girl's wing has a sticky lock. Like really sticky. It gets worse sometimes and better sometimes, I think the fixit man might fix it sometimes. This week it is so damn sticky I can barely lock the damn door. So I'm standing there, banging on the door and messing with the lock because I refuse to use any other stall. Also one of its toilet dispensers (each stall has 2) dispenses toilet paper way too fast. You give a gentle tug and you've got the whole industrial sized single ply roll.

It's not stalking if you love him

So here is the dilemma. I know so much about his habits and schedule that I can generally roughly guess about where he is at any time during the day. Some times slots and days of the week are more hazy than others, but the grisly fact of the matter is that if someone tells me they spotted him somewhere (I have a rather large network of people who patronize my sickness and call me when he is sighted) I can guess where he is going or coming from with an accuracy that should be illegal. I don't try to know these things; I just retain information incredibly well. It's not like I set up stakeouts (o.k., maybe once, but that was a bad day...) or that I've hacked the school computer system and found out his schedule. I honestly just pick up any information regarding him like cat hair on a black sweater and then retain it. Forever. So my problem is that any time I want to do something, say, go study at the library, I don't know if I genuinely want to go study at the library (which I should if I had half a brain, my grades need it) or if I know that he should be passing through the quad at about 1:30 after getting out of his biology class and I would like to also be passing through the quad. Do I really spontaneously want to go downstairs to the bakery every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at about 8:30, or is it that I know he should be getting off of work and might be in the lobby in the basement?

My class schedule for next semester: he's taking Chem 2, which I'm in right now. I'm doing really poorly, but the day that I decided I should maybe retake it was also the day I found out that he should be in it next semester. That's a big freaking decision, I don't have the time or the money to retake classes unless I absolutely have to! And yet, am I doing it for me, or in the desperate desire to be near him when at all possible? I studied for 10 days, almost non-stop for the most recent chem test (this is before I had decided to retake it), and I aced all of the practice exams and had the teacher's agreement to give me a good grade in the class if I did well on the test. I thought I was going to rape this test; I was SO prepared. I got an 80%. That's a fucking low B. Why did I do so poorly on a test that I should have aced all to hell? In my defense, the class average was 60%; it was a tough test. Not in my defense, if I put off Organic Chemistry until Junior year first semester He will definitely be in it and there is only one lecture time, so we would be together in both the lecture and the recitation. I could arrange for our once weekly 5 hour lab to be together.

Somebody help me.

I didn't ask him

Today was the day I was supposed to casually mention the Incubus concert that me and my friends happen to have a spare ticket to and "Hey, you know the way to Wichita, come with us!" And I had the perfect opportunity when we were just walking together after class and I didn't. I didn't even talk about enrollment, so I don't know how I'm going to make sure we're in the same Chem class. It's like my mind goes blank. I'm lucky I don't drool or projectile vomit on the boy. I think we discussed drinking, which I'm sure we've discussed many times before. God! I'm so stupid. Hopefully his friend will be absent again on Thursday so I'll have another shot before it's too late. Maybe he'll be at lunch tomorrow, or taking trays on Friday. He's probably at lunch right now, but I can't go because Roommate is asleep and I am afraid to go alone. She won't be waking up until his next class starts... He might be there alone. He doesn't live in the dorms anymore, he might not know anyone who is there right now. Shit! Crap, I can't wake her up. She has mono. I woke her up last week so we could be there at the same time as him and I didn't even talk to him. Argh!

Liberal rant

Ok, so it has been a week and I now feel capable of talking about the election without just screaming obscenities. No, seriously, for about 36 hours the only discourse Roommate and I had was me shouting, ok here's a sample of things I shouted at her:
"George Bush is a Goddamn motherfucking idiot and so is anyone who voted for him!"
"Republicans fucking hate black people, poor people, gay people and teachers. And the environment!"
"I would rather have four years with syphilis than four more years with that asshole."
"Conservatives kick puppies."
"The environment will be here in 100 years and we won't, we have to fucking preserve it for posterity. For posterity, Shit head!"
"Don't you fucking care about people less fortunate than us? Why do you hate everyone with fewer resources than you?!"
"Goddamn Racist!"

And she was really a gem, I owe her many apologies and thanks for tolerating it and continuing to be my roommate.
But anyway, George Bush has been one of the worst things to happen to this country. Ever. Did everyone who voted for him forget that neat little bit of trivia, where he took the single largest budget surplus in the history of the United States and turned it into the single largest budget deficit? I think that warrants attention. Alright, I know all of this information is public knowledge, and so I'll just list every area in which he has screwed us over:
Foreign Policy
Domestic Policy
that sums it up nicely.
That and Kerry was in a band. He played base. That's cool. He messed around with distortion and feedback before Jimi Hendrix. Jimi fucking Hendrix! I think that alone warrants presidency. I've actually developed something of a crush on John Kerry. I think he's brilliant, and was branded the greenest senator in a long-ass time, which is laudable. And he's tall...
It would be nice if he were a little more liberal though. He's opposed to gay marriage, but at least he supports civil unions. And he's politically pro-choice and supports stem cell research which ought to be as much of a no-brainer as gay marriage. He supports alternative forms of energy besides this lifeblood called foreign oil, which is nice because I read somewhere that oil is going to run out someday. That's right; it actually won't last forever. And here in the Midwest there is a frat with a big sign out front saying "Kill the Iraqis, we want their oil!" Unbelievable.

My Roommate talks on the phone too much

So some guy she met at a party a while back called her last week, and I don't think they've gotten off the phone since. She doesn't remember what he looks like, and yet she talks to him for (honestly people) at least four hours per day. Four hours! I don't talk about HIM that much. I think that if Tyler and I were engaged to be married, I couldn't talk to him that much. I can see hanging out with someone for more than that. Hell, I would like nothing more than to be grafted to the guy (my guy, not her guy); as long as it didn't impede our having lots of really good sex, and yet I don't think I can imagine talking for four hours straight. Road trips are my heaven, I love sitting in the car, listening to music, looking out the window, with people that you like. A 10 hour road trip with him might be the best possible scenario ever. And yet, I don't think that we would talk for over four hours straight. What could be said for that amount of time? Words should run out.

The Faint got on MTVU!

Yeah! Good for them. The video was weird and I'm pretty sure they are a little too techno to go very mainstream, but I'm always happy when a saddlecreek band gets on MTV. Omaha is awesome!
He was taking trays at the Derb tonight, so by my standards today has been a brilliantly good day, as I've spoken to him twice. My friend put about 15 glasses on one tray though, made a big pyramid. I'm pretty sure that was a pain in the ass for him, although he insisted that it wasn't. He's so hot...
I have to ask him to the concert tomorrow. I could maybe wait until Thursday, but at that point I think I've either just got to leap in the pool, or leave and stop racing around it madly, you know?
Today it felt like there was a little stick in the right sleeve of my sweater, poking my arm. I scratched at it a few times and forgot about it, but a couple of hours later I had taken the sweater off and the stick was still there, poking my arm. Roommate thought I was going crazy, as there was no visible stick or anything on my arm. Last year I went over a week with the sensation that there was a hair on my thumb. Like a head hair, just draped over my thumb. It drove me insane, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this hair. I hope the stick doesn't hang around that long. I can't feel it right now, but these things come and go.

Tyler was at lunch

I made an ass out of myself. Practically interrogated the boy. He said his family had come up for a bull sale, which I found surprising and interesting, and I also wanted him to say that yesterday was his birthday, so I could congratulate him. Ended up drilling him about the cattle they purchased. I didn't know people actually bought cows. Go figure. That's really cool, except beef cows aren't nearly as cool as, say, miniature zebu. Not that I would expect K-state to have any miniature zebu for sale...
I made the mistake of sitting next to that damn blue contact boy in Physical Anthropology today. I don't like him because he wears contacts to make what I'm sure are already blue eyes into Crystal Ice Gatorade blue eyes, and that is vain and something that only sorority girls should do. Not to mention colored contacts are unattractive and fake looking. The real problem with sitting next to him though is that he wears so much cologne, I feel as though I'm asphyxiating. Not good smelling, either. Although there are few things that smell good when presented so strongly. And my favorite kid from Anthropology wasn't even there today. OK, let me tell you about this kid. He's got really dark reddish hair that he keeps in a gross pony tail, and he has freckles and side burns and wears Linkin Park shirts. So basically, a weird guy with all the makings of being truly unattractive, but he's not! I think he's really a fox; I think it's his eyes. Honestly beautiful eyes, they're better than Tyler's, which is certainly saying something. A good jawline too. But he was absent and I ended up sitting next to smelly.

Vegetarianism

Like any good bleeding heart liberal, I am a vegetarian. Not an exceptionally strict one, by any means. I fully intend to eat turkey on Thanksgiving, and if there is nothing good and meatless at the Derb (dining center) on a friday night, I'll have the popcorn shrimp. I was a vegetarian my sophomore year of high school, for about 4 months. I thought it was the hardest thing I had ever done. I became really anemic, had to stop volunteering at the local animal shelter and then gave up the vegetarian thing. But this time around, it was the most natural transition. I rarely eat meat anyways, there are many options. At home it was steak and potatoes, every night. Cut out the steak and you're living on potatoes. Which I've heard is possible...
Ok, back on subject. I've always seen myself as a vegetarian. I mean, really. How could someone with my ideals not be? I don't do it so much for the animals, although I really do think that the standards in the industry need to be upped, and dramatically. The real issue in my mind is humanitarian. Running perfectly good sustenance through this wildly inefficient machine we call a cow and then getting a 10th of the actual amount of food, for several times the price? Doesn't that seem backward to anyone else? There are starving people everywhere. I don't know the statistics, but I'm pretty sure that over half of the world goes to bed hungry every night. Some number of kids every hour die of hunger. Hunger! What the hell, this is 2004 and the US is battling an obesity epidemic and there are still people dying of starvation? Listen to these numbers:

• To make one pound of beef, it requires 2500 gallons of water
• 12 lbs of grain required to make 1 lb of beef.
• 35 lbs of topsoil lost per lb of beef.
• 70% of all US grain production goes to feeding cows.
• 5 million acres of rainforest are cut down each year to make grazing land for cattle.
• 20% of North American endangered species are harmed by the beef industry, through habitat loss or pollution.
• The water pollution caused by livestock waste is 10 times the pollution caused by humans.

And does anyone know how long it takes to die of hunger? You can go months without any food at all, and if you're getting some minimal amount... they live their whole lives in the process of dying of starvation. Sure we're all in the process of dying, whatever. We say that here in the US, that and the whole, "dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow; I hope you dance and love and hug puppies" crap. Dying of HUNGER. That has to hurt like a bitch. And they don't have a chance. Maybe if enough people will, for the cost of a cup of coffee each day, save the children, whatever. Meanwhile, Desi has purchased a second pair of the same $400 boots, so she has brown and...a darker brown?

One more reason for vegetarianism; I don't like the aesthetic of meat eating. It's disgusting. Really. That thing was alive and is now dead. And there's blood, loss of life, undoubtedly some pain. I'm supposed to put all of that in my mouth? No thanks. Muscle tissue, skin, rot. It's ugly.

chsagor

The reason for my address is that all of the good ones were taken. A mouse who is genotypically homozygous c^h, sa, go and heterozygous r (or homozygous, it's dominant so it doesn't matter) would phenotypically be a long-haired siamese satin rex. In other words, a damn attractive mouse. See my Flemel:

I'll grant you that he isn't the best siamese, but his fur was really really nice. I challenge anyone to find a mouse with fur like that.


For other pictures of my remarkably cute mice, see my webpage: http://charismaticmice.homestead.com

God, I love being a college student!

Ok, so here is now things go in college on the weekends.
Friday: Go out and get ass drunk, wander home in the wee hours of the mornings and crash. Saturday: Wake up for breakfast at the dining center (in the basement of the dorms, so real clothes are forgone) and then crawl back to bed. Wake up for lunch in the dining center, crawl back to bed. Wake up for dinner in the dining center, crawl back to bed. Wake up, brush teeth, get ass drunk.
Sunday: Repeat Saturday, although the third round of drinking may be substituted for getting cheap Chinese food or Gumby's pizza.
The beauty of this system is that I never have to leave the dorms, I can even drink here if I want! Although, really, who does that? *cough*boyswhoplaytoomanyvideogames*cough*cough* I have gone days without being in direct sunlight! Brilliant! I LOVE college!
I would like to add a somber note that several of my friends suffered something that I can only assume is sophomore slump/party burnout early in the year, in which they had no desire to drink or go out. Something about fake everything, unsavory, lecherous boys and a general disgust with the process coupled with a serious aversion to public embarassment and vomiting. Go figure. They're better now, though, so all is well in my kingdom.

Tequila kicks my ass

So I find it pretty unfair that not only does getting really drunk knock you on your ass and cause you to wake up the next morning with puke in your hair and a headache, but it also wreaks some sort of havoc on my large intestines. Gross, eh? But seriously, I'm pretty sure last night might have been one of the best nights ever. Even though it was kind of a short night, with my wasted ass getting sent home at around 1:00. Now, I apparently didn't go straight back to the dorms, because I left the party before my roommate, and when I arrived at my room she was there...with a guy. So I assume they didn't just sprint out of the party, run past me, get to the room and strip and then act all surprised when I come stumbling in. In other news (I don't remember any of this) but I apparently just stared at them for a good awkward length of time until roommate was like, "Uh, can we have a minute?" After letting them compose themselves (I hope I let them compose themselves) I came back in and climbed into my loft and proceeded to talk to them until I passed out. "Hey, cut that out down there, I hear smooching noises! Stop it! Boy, she has mono, I was supposed to warn you. Now you have mono. You guys better not do anything now that I'm here, that's a cardinal sin you know." and so on, until I passed out in an alcohol induced stupor. Also appearing at the party were enough hot guys that I wanted to just sit down and cry; they were really that hot.
A new thing this year is my insatiable desire to drink heavily on both Friday and Saturday nights, every single week. Last year, my debut into the realm of alcohol and fun, I thought I would be instantly teloported to an AA meeting if I went out more than one night per week, and we had a system in which one of us was DD (designated drivers people, it's the only safe way to drink) at least once a month. More if you party-fouled: puked, were annoying, hooked up with a random guy or spilled on someone hot. This year I have only missed three Fridays or Saturdays, and that is since the semester started, so a good three and a half months. Which is made up by the occasions in which a Thursday or Sunday warranted drinking. Also, puking is no longer a big deal. Last year I think I threw up a total of four times all year, and each time everyone thought that I was actually dying, which was not even a reasonable conclusion because I am very articulate and can still walk, etc. While projectile vomiting. But we had to have serious discussions among friends about how to make sure no one ever drinks to much and Rachael stops puking. This year I have already thrown up at least five or six times and it has not garnered more than a, "Hah, Rachael puked again. Drunken loser." Last night was another one of those occasions. Bring on tonight!!

Casual acquaintances

I really don't understand how the whole system works. Here is my case in point: I like to get drunk on weekends and it used to be that when I would see someone I recognized (whether or not I actually knew the person) I would shout, "Hey, I know you!" and would proceed to tell them how I know them, ask their name, major, etc. We'd probably have a conversation. The next time I saw this person sober I would look studiously at the ground as they passed and after a few months, most of the awkwardness would have dissipated. I've recently developed an even better method, in which I never speak to people that I expect to see again when I'm drunk. It requires more self control than I usually exercise when wasted, but it is worth it to not have to deal with the soul-crushing awkwardness of the next meeting. Unfortunately, this past weekend I was accosted by someone from a class of mine. "Hey, I know you!" he said, and of course I responded enthusiastically, "Yeah, you're in my genetics class!" "You sit right in front of me!" "Yeah!" So on Monday, there he was, right behind me. And before I had a chance to begin the studious ignoring, he asked how my weekend was. Damn. So now every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I can expect to see this guy, whose name I do not remember, and apparently some sort of discourse is expected at each meeting. Should I comment on the weather? Does anyone actually do that? He sits behind me, so I have to turn to speak, but being turned when there is nothing being said is stupid. Once I've returned to facing forward, if class still hasn't started, can I put my headphones back in, thereby preempting any continuing conversation, or is that rude? I really just don't know. While lamenting this to friends during the commercials of Jeopardy, they made fun and said that I should be happy to have a new "hey buddy." A hey buddy is someone that you do not know, but you say "Hey" to them when they walk past. You never think of them except for at this passing, or, if you're me, when you're agonizing over what pleasantries you should exchange the next time you are confronted with this person.
So please, if you recognize me at a party, don't approach me. I am incapable of normal casual interactions.